The Valley Of Despair

I recently discovered Kelley and Connor’s Emotional Cycle Of Change and it has given me a better understanding of why many people (including myself) have a tendency to give up on projects that only a few weeks prior we were really excited about.

Whenever you start work on a new goal or a new venture, you will go through an Emotional Cycle of Change. 😃

You start with a level of Uninformed Optimism. You don't know what you don't know, so everything is seen through rose-tinted spectacles. 😎

Then you start to get into the actual work and you begin to learn things you didn't know before so you become better informed. But what inevitably happens is that this new information you discover about your new venture will reveal it’s not as amazing as you thought it was. Doubt begins to creep in and you may even question whether you made the right decision. 😩

You start to be afraid of the unknown and enter the phase known as ‘Informed Pessimism’. The lustre of the new venture loses its shine. It's harder than you anticipated. And it feels like work.

Now, this will put you into something that the psychologists, Kelly and Connor, termed the Valley of Despair. 🥺

And it’s at this point that most people throw in the towel and quit.

They just decide it’s too difficult and switch their attention to the next shiny new object. 👀

You know when you are in the Valley of Despair because nothing seems to be working as expected. You question everything and everybody including yourself and the person you were learning from. 🤨

And when you are in the Valley Of Despair and you are looking up you see other potential opportunities through the lens of Uninformed Optimism. And you are vulnerable to the shiny new object syndrome.

The temptation to move on and try something new is powerful and, if you succumb, it will bring you back to stage one: Uninformed Optimism. 😊

Book a free no-obligation coaching call to see if I can help you push through to achieve your goals.